Well, it's been awhile since I last spoke to you people, but, it's a new year and here we sit.
With the NFL playoffs in full swing, it often helps some viewers that are unfamiliar with the intricacies of football to hear it from a coach like me. So, if you're new to the sport or just a long-time fan in need of a fresh look, here's a primer:
1) If a quarterback is hobbling on one foot, yet, stays in the game, I promise you it is NOT for effect. He is really hurt. And, because he has such a will to win, he will not pull himself from the field. In this way, he is EXACTLY like a soldier in battle. I'm sure war veterans would, wholeheartedly, agree.
2) If you see a player celebrate after making a first down, don't scoff and call them a 'showboat'. Many of them come from broken homes, tough streets and low economic backgrounds. In poor neighborhoods, dancing around and making a spectacle of oneself is a hallmark of low income communities...or so I've been told. So, the next time a player jumps up, dances around, showing complete lack of sportsmanship, just remember - they probably learned that on "the streets".
3) When an announcer refers to a "competitor", he isn't talking about an immature, overly-competitive, batshit, 'roided-up neanderthal. He is referring to that special something most people don't have - the ability to 'want it more'.
4) If a commentator mentions that a team or player 'stepped up', 'raised their game', 'rose to the occasion', 'came to play', 'brought their 'A' game', 'took it up to another level', 'made things happen', 'got it done' or 'didn't make excuses', they all mean the same thing. It means they're playing well.
so, there's just a few. I'll fill you in on more as the big day approaches. I know most people are looking forward to the opening kickoff. Me? I'm looking forward to the first hilarious TV ad. I wonder which one will be the most scatological or sexually suggestive?? I place my bet on Dorito's.
On Jackals!
Coach
